By Abby Lass
1) “Aw, that’s so sweet!”
Sorry I’m just too salty for this discussion.
2) “Thank you…”
This is… flattering?
3) “I just don’t want you to have to deal with my issues.”
Oh, you can? Yeah, no, it’s really okay…
4) “You deserve someone better.”
I am literally willing to make you a list if it means that I can leave.
5) “I’m still getting over someone.”
You don’t know them, they’re from Canada.
6) “My friend is actually super into you and I don’t want to make things weird.”
They just sort of are really shy and they don’t want you to know who they are so as a good human being I really can’t tell you…
7) “I’m just really busy right now.”
Try me again in like five years.