A Junior’s Guide to Surviving Freshman Year Part 9: Everything Else

By Abby Lass

Editor-in-Chief, Volume 56

Be a narcissist and take some selfies. You’ll be glad to have them later.
Your opinion is valid but not always necessary.
Loving yourself is the ultimate goal, but accepting yourself for who you are is the first step.
Being in a relationship is not a guarantee of happiness, and being single does not make you lonely.
People usually aren’t intentionally malicious, but that doesn’t mean their actions don’t hurt.
If it makes you happy, don’t overthink it.
Just because you can do everything doesn’t mean that you should, or that you have to.
Thank the people who have helped you along the way.
Wear what you want and ignore any comment that is not “you look great.”
Standing up for yourself is not making a scene. However, people are less responsive when you put them in a situation that makes them feel threatened and victimized.
Be the biggest nerd when it comes to the things that you love and never apologize for it.
If they don’t make you happy, don’t keep them around.
Food is the most underrated feel-good drug in existence.
Whatever you’re hiding, you’re not alone.
There is always time in your life for a nice long shower.
Not everyone is going to like you, and you’re not going to like everyone, and that’s fine.
You are allowed to be angry and to cry and to be selfish.
Try to understand where the other person is coming from.
A genuinely kind interaction, however brief, can brighten someone’s entire day.
Ask but don’t judge.
Find your community— and don’t feel bad if it’s not at the L Bench.
When in doubt, ask first— especially when dealing with promposals.
Learn to read a room.
Being passionate and working hard is cool, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I don’t care what gender you are, be sure that you can at least pay for yourself on a first date.
Inside jokes are great until they’re being used to remind you that you weren’t there.
You’re not the only one who didn’t have fun at semi.
Support your friends, however ridiculous it may seem in the moment.
Sometimes watching an entire season of a TV show in a single night with your best friend is more important than your history essay.
The classes you take do not define you.
Be honest with yourself and with others— you never know who might need it.
Self-loathing takes too much energy.
Staying up the latest to work on something does not make you the most talented, dedicated, or deserving. It just makes you tired.
Everyone has limitations; learn yours before they get in your way.
Four cups of coffee over the course of one school day is not a healthy life choice.
Consistency is the best way to prove capability.
90% of the time, it’s really not personal.
Expose yourself to religion— any one you like. You never know what’ll spark your interest.
The college process does not need to be terrifying and stressful, no matter what people tell you.
Your time is one of the most valuable things that you possess; don’t waste it on things and people who aren’t worthy.
Yelling at and over someone during an argument is not a great way to get them to agree with you.
Even if you hate the subject or the assignment, there is almost always a way to make it fun for yourself (even if that way is rewarding yourself at the end with chocolate).
If you don’t have a better alternative, don’t complain about someone else’s idea.
Say it out loud, write it down, just get it out of your head somehow.
Find places in your daily life where you feel comfortable enough to hide, sleep, and cry.
Pay your dues, but don’t go into debt.
You are more than the decisions you will make surrounding substances.
Go thrifting— the look of your dreams does not need to have a nightmarish price tag.
Don’t let everyone else’s experience with a teacher or group determine the way you view them— experience things for yourself before you form an opinion.
Remember what you are fighting for and why.
Nothing in your life should be above empirical thinking.
Seven times out of ten, “you should” statements are more harmful than helpful.
A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.
Hating someone just gives them power over you.
Make a point to be kind to people who wouldn’t expect it from you.
Consider the ability to get through a lunch period without looking at your phone as important as any other graduation requisite.
Skipping one day is not going to destroy you.
The only way to beat FOMO is to know as strongly as you can that you’re doing exactly what you want to be doing right this second.
You probably can’t change them, but you can understand them.
Nobody has the single right course of action when it comes to college.
Nearly everything is worth trying twice.
If it’s that good an idea, it’ll still seem feasible in the morning.
Don’t be sorry, be better.
A good story isn’t always the most sound prerogative.
If your problems feel cliché, it just means a lot of people can relate to them.
Going out is not always the best option, but neither is staying in.
Be honest when you’re not going to come through on a group endeavor— it saves everyone the trouble of waiting for you.
Don’t be afraid to demand the credit you have earned.
Try not to judge coping mechanisms, chances are people could be handling their feelings in much worse ways.
Try to fit exercise into your life in a way that makes you happy— ten minutes of jazzercise three times a week is probably a lot more enjoyable than waking up on a Saturday and running five miles, after all.
Visible effort counts for more than you’d think.
Taking a step back and failing are not synonyms.
Document the things that happen to you. The most trivial moment might make the most worthwhile memory.
Organizing minimally very often is a lot easier than trying to dig through a hoarder’s nest once a year.
The best way to be a role model is to live your truth and accept your flaws— it shows the kids looking up to you that it’s okay not to be perfect.
Jokes can still hurt.
Have at least two dishes you’re able to cook confidently so that you’re not stuck eating like a squirrel if you’re ever home alone.
Guilt is not a good reason to invite people to things.
Don’t allow yourself to be the exception to the standards that you hold everyone else to.
Remember that your big thighs will help you climb mountains, that the fat on your belly protects the organs that keep you alive, and that your frizzy hair gives you personality.
Everything is relative. Everything.
If you don’t ask for what you need, no one is going to know that you need it.
Listen to music, even the stupid kind. Especially the stupid kind.
Create your own traditions.
Life is not numerically quantifiable, no matter what your coaches or grades make you think.
Give your parents the benefit of the doubt. They’re probably trying their best and are just helplessly lost.
Make sure you do your research before making big dietary decisions or restrictions.
Displays of affection are about making the other person happy, not making you feel good about yourself.
Get good at being the only person you know in the room.
Talk to the quiet kid in your class, you’ll be the first one to discover how amazing they are.
The best tactic is often just to scroll past it.
There’s really no need to be sending Snapchats to the people you didn’t invite.
They’re going to text you the second you put down your phone and go to bed. Every single time.
You can be a good friend and still have boundaries.
Sometimes, you have to be your own best friend.
Labels are good for providing definitions and clarity, but make sure you don’t get tripped up by them.
Appreciate your successes, you’ve earned them.
Sometimes “that sucks” is all someone needs to hear.
Set lofty goals. Even if you don’t get all the way there, you’ll still find yourself somewhere impressive.
“How did it go?” is a better question than “what’d you get?” Your B- might be someone else’s A, after all.
Mean your compliments.
Your opinions on political correctness aside, choose kindness, professionalism, and decency every single time.
Talking about it does not make you weak.
Don’t be embarrassed to make lists, charts, whatever helps you organize and prioritize the things in your life.
Have a relationship with your best friend that makes people wonder if you’re dating.
Some people aren’t huggers, don’t take offense to it.
Listen to the people you disagree with, you’d expect nothing less from them.
See at least one Shakespeare production and one baseball game at some point in your life.
Admitting you don’t know everything makes you sound like a much more reputable source than someone who insists that they’ve got all the information.
Rivalries are great for motivation, but remember that every organization is comprised of people who deserve kindness.
Upperclassmen are just people.
Go to the pep rally. If you ditch and then bemoan our school’s lack of spirit, you’re part of the problem.
Help people out with unexpected tasks. It feels great and you might get to experience something awesome.
Find people that love and appreciate you instead of only tolerating you.
If you’re unwilling to earn someone’s trust, you’re not worthy of it.
Ruining your shoes in the name of dancing in the rain is entirely encouraged.
Find a way to hang out with small children every once in a while. If nothing else, it’ll make you glad you don’t have to see them more.
You don’t have to be 100% good 100% of the time in order to still be a good person.
It is a privilege to be challenged.
Your reality and someone else’s can coexist without either of you having to be wrong.
Don’t blame yourself when your best isn’t good enough. More likely than not, you’re fighting within a broken system.
Even the brightest stars are part of a constellation.
Being vulnerable requires more strength than most people have the capacity to exert. It is not a weakness.
Underclassmen are probably more mature than you give them credit for (but not always).
Be kind and patient with the people working for you— telling someone to do things is often easier than actually doing them.
Your emotions are not contingent on anyone else’s— don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t get to struggle because someone else has it worse.
At some point, your sanity will have to come first.
You don’t have to like it, but you should understand the basics of at least one major league sport.
Start off just trying to be brave about the little things, then work your way up.
They’re probably just having a bad day.
If you can defend your actions and stand by what you’ve done, you’re doing something right.
No one will fault you if your advisory isn’t close, but having a genuine community to spend five minutes a day with makes such a world of difference to your general school experience.
When in doubt, bake for people.
“They don’t like it” and “it’s not good” are not synonyms.
Find friends you can do nothing with.
If you can’t understand someone’s outrage over a situation, try to put it in a context you can relate to— what if it happened to a woman, a person of color, a child, you?
Grab a friend and go to one of the amazing games, concerts, and cultural events that South puts on. So much work goes into them and it’s so life-affirming to see what amazing things your classmates are capable of.
Chances are you’re not going to use your free time as well as you expect— try joining a team, club, or organization to give your life some structure.
Perform at Tertulia doing something you love, even if you feel like an idiot.
Find a group of people and make your own spirit days— there’s such a basic sense of community that comes from seeing someone else walking down the halls who secretly wears polka dots on Thursdays with you.
School spirit looks different to different people, and all versions are acceptable.
There’s nothing wrong with removing yourself from a situation until after you’ve had time to think.
Your successes and struggles exist even if there is no one else around to witness them.
Don’t get too down if that special someone isn’t texting you back— chances are there are a dozen people still awake who would love to have a conversation with you.
Before you start anything, decide how you will measure your success in it.
Don’t insist that you would have come through if only life hadn’t gotten in the way— even if you’re telling the truth, that doesn’t help the people you’ve let down.
It’s your duty as a human being to be at least mildly aware of what’s happening in the world.
Taking one day to get better when you’re sick is going to result in you missing a lot less work than if you push through and stay sick for a month (not to mention the fact that you’re probably starting a plague).
Good enough is good enough.
Promote community and make an effort to make the people in your life feel cherished. The world is so much less scary when you know you’re not alone.
Don’t shame yourself for getting burned out— when you’re consistently working as hard as you do, sometimes you’re body just needs some time to catch up.
Small, heartfelt presents are better than something flashy and impersonal.
Understand the history before you try to mock or change something.
There are plenty of ways to affect political and social change, but commenting on a Facebook post might not be the most productive.
Brief doesn’t mean fake.
There are as many teaching styles as there are teachers, don’t be upset if you don’t mesh well with all of them.
Make friends from other schools— they’ll keep you sane.
Everything ends, but you can decide if you want to leave on good terms or bad.
Have one pair of jeans you could wear for the rest of your life.
Be aware of how your individual habits contribute to a toxic community mindset— you bragging about staying up all night to finish a project at the last second and still getting an “A” is not going to foster a more healthy learning environment.
Letting your friendships change and evolve can be scary, but it’s also part of maintaining a healthy relationship while still allowing for personal growth.
Don’t worry too much about bothering people— if they find you that annoying, they’ll just leave.
Don’t be stingy when dispensing kindness and love— you do not have a finite amount of them inside of you that you’re at risk of use up.
You’re not a bad friend for wanting boundaries.
Know how you work best, but still be willing and able to try someone else’s method at least once. If nothing else, you’ll have proved that your method is superior.
Other people can be so interesting if you can manage to come into an interaction with the right mindset.
Know when to ask permission, and when to barrel ahead and take the chance of having to apologize later.
You’re allowed to still love the things you cared about when you are 10.
Teachers are people too.
Celebrate birthdays in class.
Understanding why you engage in a particular activity will help you better determine whether or not it’s something worth continuing.
Know when to step up and when to step back.
Say “I love you” more— not so that you can hear it back, but so that the person you’re addressing knows how much they matter to you.
Feel like you and a friend are growing apart? Just sit down and talk. A 20 minute conversation might be all it takes to fix things.
Even if you’re not a fan of Newton South as an institution, this school is big enough for you to be able to find your own home within it.
Crying in public is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of humanity.
Almost every action you take is a decision of what matters more, your needs or others. Choose judiciously as often as you can.
Take the time to stop and to notice.
You of all people deserve kindness.
Pretty much everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to have the time or energy to judge you. Isn’t that liberating?