Breaking News: Semi-Posal Rejected Due to Lack of Creativity

Graphic by Jack Landrigan and Julie Samuels

By John Floros

Pro Procrastinator

Students at Newton South are currently preparing for one of the most anticipated events of the year: the junior semi, which this year will be taking place on May 13th at the Newton Marriott Hotel.

Over the past month, juniors have boasted their creative semi-posals by uploading them on Facebook. These proposals traditionally include a poster with clever or sweet words, but have grown ranging in dogs, giant gift boxes, or sticky notes pasted on moving vehicles.

Junior Pat Hetic, in particular, went the distance to create the biggest, most elaborate semi-posal in South’s history.

Hetic had planned on asking sophomore Heidi Standerd for a long time: “I knew when she let me take a sip from her water bottle one day this past fall that she was the one I’d be asking,” said Hetic. “It was as if we had already shared our first kiss.”

Since that moment in the beginning of the year, he had gone into planning mode. Not only did he pick up some shifts at Petco in order to raise money for his proposal, Hetic also did his best to cater his plan towards Standerd’s interests, ensuring the answer of yes.  Hetic added that “she didn’t really know who I was, so I knew I had to go big or go home.”

On Saturday, April 1, it was Hetic’s moment to shine. Although he was nervous, he felt confident that his hard work would pay off as he had been planning the promposal for months without a falter in his determination.

When Standerd came home from her morning softball practice, she was met with what was surely the biggest surprise of her life. Hillary Clinton stood on her front porch lip synching One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful;” flower petals were tossed from baskets on either side of her as she walked towards her house; Ellen DeGeneres had her camera crew there filming live on her show; and in her front yard were almost thirty horses, all standing in perfect formation, spelling out “SEMI?” Hetic, dressed in a three-piece suit, stood next to Clinton, a huge smile plastered on his face.

Much to Hetic’s surprise and horror, Standerd responded with a “no.” On her Finsta post later that day, she posted a selfie explaining that she felt Hetic did not put enough effort into his semi-posal; the caption read: “Idk why, but it just didn’t feel right, u know? Like you want to go with a guy who you know you’ll have fun with, and Pat just didn’t seem like he cared that much. Like it was cute, but I wanted more.”

Days later,  Hetic lamented that “I’m really bummed, but I saw her post, and she was right. I could’ve done more. I could’ve made [the proposal] better, to show her how much I care.”

Hetic, however, refusing to be restricted by his past, remained in high spirits as he remarks that “I guess that’s what semi is for though, right? Learn the lessons now, and try again next year for prom.”

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