Breaking: Russian Involvement in United States Technology Spans Further Than Previously Believed

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By Luke Ito

Pro Procrastinator

As the controversy surrounding the presidential election somehow continues to grow, one major player has been identified as taking part in the “festivities”.

Evidence has emerged that indicates that Russians possibly took part in hacking the 2016 Election. However, this is not the only thing they’ve been altering. After a week long investigation of the hackers, the CIA found over one hundred thousand files, each containing the classwork, homework, and essays of high school aged students.

According to Hago Tcha, the CIA agent responsible for the busts, the Russians planned to break apart Western Society one high school paper at a time.

“Their plan was quite ingenious, really,” Tcha said. “They wanted to make America slowly lose hope in their youth, which would, in turn, leave them with a lack of able, trusted leaders for the future. This is when Russians would make their move, kicking the USA while it was down.”

In a further investigation, the team of agents also found a file entitled “destroy_america_in_present_and_future.docx”. The team was unable to decipher whether or not this had anything to do with Russia’s role in the election.