By Abby Lass
1) “Did the quiz scores get posted?”
And follow up: “Do I want to go through that emotional rollercoaster now or save it for the morning?”
2) “Maybe they’ll text back.”
Considering it’s 3 am, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
3) “Is our Snapchat streak dead?”
THE STREAK MUST PREVAI– ooh look at her story…
4) “I wonder what that one actor from that one movie has been doing recently.”
And of course you’ll want to watch their five most recent films once you find out.
5) “What if Jesus came back to Earth already but we locked him away because we thought he was nuts?”
It’s definitely not impossible.
6) “My desk/dresser/closet really needs to be organized and I’m not going to have any time tomorrow…”
And this is definitely not a coping mechanism to deal with all the stress in the rest of your life.
7) “Oh I totally forgot about that super embarrassing thing I did in middle school until now.”
And let’s not forget about the entire series of events that unfolded because of it.
8) “What is that thing moving right on the periphery of my vision?”
Please don’t be a demon.
9) “How would I go about up this giant event that will never actually happen?”
Obviously I need to have the answer before the sun comes up.
10) “BEST. SCREENPLAY IDEA. EVER.”
It must be written immediately.