By Abby Lass
Editor-in-Chief
- Come home covered with stickers and/or marker
Yes that is a giraffe wearing a butterfly top hat drawn in sharpie on my leg, thank you for noticing.
- Had something undesirable shoved in your mouth
At best it’s a clean finger.
- Wondered if anyone thinks you’re a teen parent when you’re out with an infant in public
I don’t need your judgemental stares, random lady at the dog park.
- Insisted on educating the children on all the movies/books/toys they should be familiar with
Veggie Tales is a generationless classic and everybody knows it.
- Tried to figure out the best way to ensure that the child doesn’t die while you’re in the bathroom
I was gone for less than 60 seconds. How could you have managed to entirely cover yourself in peanut butter in less than 60 seconds?
- Planned what you would do in the event of a robber or child snatcher
Plan A: Take the child and run. Plan B: Barricade yourself wherever they keep the food.
- Attempted to downplay your panic when the child gets injured
Please tell me I didn’t just cost you a beautiful and fulfilling future by accidentally letting you hit your head on a marble countertop.
- Failed to remain calm when a child with minimal verbal skills starts crying
Food… diaper…. What’s happening here?
- Dressed up in something ridiculous to appease the child
And rocked it, let’s not forget.
- Felt lucky to have a little human in your life that you care about so much
For better or worse.
