By Maddy Epstein
Pro Procrastinator
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can change my name to Simon and always speak in third person.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can friend my current teachers on Facebook.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can run onstage at a Drake concert and not get arrested.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can beat “Rainbow Road” in Mario Kart.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can bring my favorite stuffed animal to the vet for a check up.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can bring a pack of gum to school without everyone wanting a piece.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can wear a meat dress to school.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can watch Mean Girls 2 and actually enjoy it.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can eat my lunch in the library without getting yelled at.
If Donald Trump can run for president, I can pack my bags and get on the next flight to Antarctica.
