Graphic by Raj Brodie
Lucas Rishikof
Sports Reporter
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
-Abraham Lincoln, sixteenth president of the United States of America
With the RMAFL season coming to a close and the scent of our summer break slowly, but surely wafting into our still youthful noses, let us look not at the standings, but at the politics of our inaugural season.
Your inquisitive mind may be asking, “why is there so much controversy constantly surrounding the RMAFL?” To that, I will give my most valiant effort in the following writing to give you both a concise and accurate description of the squabbling that has taken place over the last seven months.
So, who is the commissioner?
The commissioner of the RMAFL is none other than Ms. Robinson. Upon hearing this news, your uninformed, naive mind may be thinking “I thought Griffin Wylie was the commissioner.” Well, “Griffin Wylie,” is, in fact, not the commissioner. In November of 2021 (Gregorian calendar), he and I founded this league.
With only 2 quarters and a dime to our names, we turned our idea into something much bigger: a reality. And the scariest thing about reality is that it’s real. As the sunrises became sunsets and the league began to expand to levels only a brain not yet tortured by this thing we call life could imagine, “Griffin Wylie” began to fall into a bottomless pit of greed and megalomania.
Never mess with reality.
Despite the reality of Ms. Robinson being the commissioner, “Griffin Wylie” has paraded around our beloved school, spreading propaganda by claiming that he is the commissioner. Although we have tried, oh how we have tried, to explain to “Wylie” that he is not commissioner, he won’t back down.
His reasoning.
“Wylie” declares himself commissioner for two reasons:
A) He is a co-founder
B) He makes rules
Now, tell me why I am not a commissioner by this logic. I have both co-founded the league and have made rules.
However, this is unimportant. “Griffin Wylie” is not the commissioner, and nor am I. And no amount of arguing or rulemaking will change that fact. So, I will put my pettiness aside and not go into detail to list both mine and his arguments.
Imagination.
I long for the day when I mustn’t see my once good friend in such pain. I write this not with disdain for “Wylie,” but with love. Too many friends have I lost because of greed. I speak of the endless pit of megalomania because the pit isn’t reality. I wrote that the scariest part of reality is that it’s real. Well, the best part about our imaginations is that they aren’t real. So, that pit is not endless because it isn’t real. Now, please, imagine a way out of it.
