Eitan Sengupta
Pro Procrastinator
**All info is fictional for comedic purposes**
The discussion surrounding changing the current school schedule has been a topic of conversation around the school for a long time. Now, that decision has finally been made, with the committee finalizing its vote on Wednesday. The proposed schedule would remove the current 55 and 75-minute blocks, and replace them with 1 and 3 minute ones, respectively.
“We believe that shorter blocks will not only allow students more time for homework, but will give them much less stress as well,” said a school board representative.
This announcement was met with celebration from the student body, but their hopes were quickly crushed when the administration made a follow-up announcement detailing the new homework load: “With less class time of course they’ll need to do more homework,” said the representative. “I don’t see the problem here. And we’ve made sure each teacher doesn’t give more than four hours a night!”
Naturally, parents and teachers haven’t been very happy with this. Teachers have voiced complaints that one minute isn’t enough time for a proper class, while parents are unhappy with the fact that their kids will get home earlier now, thus forcing them to interact more: “If I wanted to talk with my kids, I’d homeschool them!” one parent shouted during a protest. “Isn’t the point of school so I don’t have to deal with them so often? What are we paying these taxes for?”
Even with all these protests and negative responses, the school board is unlikely to change their mind about the new schedule. The new schedule is thought to make its debut at the beginning of the next school year, even though the school representative said it would be implemented “whenever”. Get ready for a fun year, kids!
