College Confidential: Why I’ve Kept My College Apps a Secret
by Anonymous
It’s mid-December, almost Christmas break, and it’s the most stressful time period for many South seniors. Throughout these next two weeks, many will hear back if their Early Decision applications were accepted by Dartmouth, Bucknell, GW, or Syracuse (the list goes on and on). Some of us will be accepted, some will not.
While some South students are open about where they have applied to college, I’ve kept my applications largely a secret.
Why? For starters, I didn’t want my name attached to a school before I was even accepted. I’ve heard countless college discussions throughout the fall, and often when someone brings up a school, another person will bring up the name of someone who is applying there.
“Duke? I know Greg really wants to go there.”
But what happens to Greg if he doesn’t get into Duke? If something like this happened to me, I’d be embarrassed – not because I was rejected, but because everyone had associated that certain school with my name and then everyone knows it did not work out.
Furthermore, things become really awkward if you find out that someone else is applying to the same college as you. The reality is that many of us are applying to the same institutions, such as Boston College, Boston University, Cornell, Dartmouth, Emory, George Washington, Maryland, Michigan, Northeastern, Northwestern, Penn, Syracuse, Tufts, Washington University in St. Louis, and Wesleyan, to name a few.
The list goes on and on.
As Newton South students, many apply to some of our nation’s most selective universities. Acceptance rates are extremely low at these competitive schools, many dipping below 20%, some less than 10%. To be accepted, you have to have an outstanding academic résumé, but you also have to beat the competition, which unfortunately might be some of your friends.
It’s tough enough to know you are up against students from New York, California, Mexico and China. It’s even more difficult, and at times uncomfortable, to realize you are up against your own classmates.
Also, because many of the schools that we Newton South students apply to are so selective, you don’t want to share how great you think a school is, have someone else who heard you apply there and get in and have you not be accepted.
You don’t want anyone to take your spot.
On a different note, I firmly believe, regardless of whether you are open to sharing your top choice, or top few choices, of colleges to others or not, you should not ever share your safety schools.
Before the start of the year, my parents specifically told me not to share my safety schools with my friends. My mother had told me a story about when she was applying to colleges that was particularly striking.
One day in her homeroom, she was talking to her friend about schools and told this friend that her safety school was the University of Hartford. Meanwhile, just a few seats behind my mother and her friend, another girl was heartbroken to hear this news.
Hartford was that girl’s dream school, and she was distraught by the fact that it was her reach school while it was my mom’s safety school.
That story stuck with me, and is the reason why I’m glad I have not told anyone my safety schools.
Even telling someone your target schools can be problematic – one student’s target is another one’s reach. So my advice on this point is twofold: keep your safety schools a secret, but also refrain from adding to the stigma we surround with schools that seem to be everyone’s “safety” because those schools could be other students’ dream school.
Now I wait. I applied Early Decision to a selective university and am sitting on pins and needles as I await my decision. And like many other seniors, I hope that next week my dream will come true.
To be honest, I am starting to feel a bit of regret for not telling my close friends where I have applied in the last few days of my waiting period. I know that every senior is rooting for each other to be admitted to their dream school, but I sometimes wish they knew my dream school.
In the wild and often stressful college process, you have to do whatever you think is best for you. If you want to share your top schools, share them. But if you do not wish to do so, you don’t have to cave into peer pressure to reveal your list. Everyone is rooting for you regardless of if you shared or not.
The important thing to realize, no matter where you applied, is that things always work out for the best. If you aren’t accepted by your dream school, then it wasn’t meant to be. You will be happy regardless of what school you go to and if you aren’t, you can always transfer and find a better school for you.
Seniors, I wish you all the best of luck this week, and I know that things will work out for the best for all of us.
Why I’m Being Open
By Anonymous
It’s without question that the college admissions process is stressful, exhausting and frustrating. However, most of all, the college admissions process is competitive.
Your friends and peers – the faces you pass in the hallways – become your “rivals.” Many will argue that keeping the schools you are applying to a secret is the best way of going about things; however, I believe that being open and honest makes this process a lot more human.
I’ve told the majority of my friends and even classmates I don’t socialize with where I’m applying. I don’t do this to brag or to boast, but rather to inform and to truthfully answer the most commonly asked question of seniors: “Where are you applying?”
Many will say that hiding the schools you’re applying to will prevent the shame or embarrassment of rejection. The thing is you shouldn’t feel those emotions when faced with rejection.
There is much discussion among seniors about how getting into top colleges is becoming increasingly harder, with admission rates dropping each year. People understand that rejection isn’t always fair. In most cases, getting into your top school will come down to plain luck.
By telling others where you are applying, you’re saying “Hey! I’m gonna try my hardest to get into so-and-so school, no matter the odds!” You shouldn’t hold onto the fear of rejection. People will respect your openness and honesty. You should be proud of your ambition.
I’m actually hearing back from my ED school this week, and I’ve told all my close friends the exact date and time when I hear my decision. I do this knowing the fact that if I get rejected, it will be known by others – and I’m okay with that.
It comforts me to know that my friends are rooting for me.
I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that they’re “crossing their fingers for me” or given me advice and insight for rejection like “life goes on” or “you have so many other great options.”
For me, the college admissions process isn’t isolating or secretive. This has helped me tremendously through the times of anxiety as it is a time when you need the support of others the most.
Finding out whether or not you get into your top school or schools is a undoubtedly a big moment in all of our lives. I want my friends to know what happens, whether it be acceptance or rejection. Getting accepted will be a moment of euphoria, and I want my friends to be able to celebrate with me.
On the other hand, rejection would be painful. However, I know that if I get rejected, I will have a network of friends to console and encourage me through this tough time. I don’t want to hide where I apply because I don’t want to hide from my friends and those who love and support me.
During a conversation with a friend this week, the topic of college decisions came up. He told me where he was applying ED, and to my surprise it was the school I was also applying ED.
When he asked me where I was applying, I didn’t hide behind lies — I told the truth with confidence.
You might think this created tension between us as we were now competing for admittance to the same school. However, quite the contrary occurred. We shook hands, gave high-fives, and joked around.
We wished each other the best of luck and gave words of encouragement and advice on the future. The thing is, we both knew how hard we’d worked and the fact that college admissions is a crapshoot and how anything can happen.
I didn’t feel threatened or scared that my chances were in jeopardy. I felt a sense of comradeship.
I’ll soon find out if I get into top choice school. I know finding out my decision will be a very emotional time. Tears will be spilled, obscenities will be shouted, and more. It will be a time of confusion and doubt. However, the thing I do know for sure is that the friends I’ve told will be there with me every step of the way. And that’s why I share where I applied to college.
Both authors felt it best to keep their names anonymous on this sensitive topic. The views expressed in the article are solely those of the authors and in no way reflects the views of Denebola.
