By Abby Lass
Editor-in-Chief
Now that ditching the group that made you famous has become a cultural norm (RIP One Direction), I thought I’d compile a list of people we all know could have incredible solo careers if they ever wanted to.
Jeff, The Wiggles
Maybe he comes across as a slacker, but this guy always gave everything his all (when he was awake, anyway). In an environment that played to his strengths, I have every bit of confidence that he could leave those try-hard bandmates behind and become something bigger.
Hermione Granger, Harry Potter
Brains, sass, and frizzy hair– this girl has everything. Arguably the only legitimately competent member of her friend group, Hermione pretty much got her crew through their years at Hogwarts all on her own, all while battling the patriarchy. With this girl’s talents, world domination is within wand’s reach.
Thor, The Avengers
Sure, his appeal is somewhat limited to his biceps and the best thing about all of his movies is his brother, Loki, but the guy is literally a god. There’s really nothing better for him to be doing than hanging out with a bunch of mortals in spandex fighting crime? I’d much rather see a reality show about the Asgardian royal family.
Mary Morstan, Sherlock
This woman is nigh unstoppable, with a murky past to boot. I’ll admit that she, John Watson, and Sherlock Holmes create the most perfect polyamorous triangle in existence, but there is so much more she could be doing than teaching baby Watson how to hold a gun. How about a prequel spin-off of her life pre-John?
Leslie Jones, Saturday Night Live
There’s been some controversy about her relying on the trope of the “angry black woman”, but Jones has been one of the saving graces of recent Saturday Night Live broadcasts. She’s hilarious and fierce, both onscreen and off, and I would almost definitely force all of my friends to go see her do standup any night of the week.
Bo Burnham’s Left Brain, What.
In the brief moments that we got to see the two halves of the comedian’s brain acting independently of each other, it became vastly clear which side gets more done. Focused, dedicated, and possessing exceptional spatial reasoning skills thanks to its time with Rubik’s Cubes, Left Brain is more than ready to strike out on its own.
Adam Levine, Maroon Five
I almost feel a little bad suggesting this one, but I think we all know it’s true. Levine writes a huge portion of the band’s music and often appears in the music videos almost entirely on his own. If you told me he’d started a solo career six years ago and I just hadn’t realized, I’d totally believe you.
Squidward Tentacles, Spongebob Squarepants
It probably wouldn’t be the most entertaining show in the world, but after more than a decade of putting up with Spongebob and Patrick as neighbors I think he’s more than earned a weekly half hour of smooth jazz, cultured living, and canned bread, don’t you?
